2.9 million Americans are out of work, so I know that somebody knows a family that is dealing with the husband being unemployed and the wife working. I've had the opportunity to speak with several men since June 08 on the topic of heading up their household in the times that they were unemployed. It's hard enough being a husband, an earthly provider to the physical and spiritual needs of your family. Being unemployed, adds an undeniable sliver of uncertainty and anxiety in the heart and mind of any man, but it's brings a different dynamic for husbands. I'd like to share with you those dynamics. Now fellas, keep in mind that I'm assuming that you know what kind of woman your wife is and what kind of husband you are. And ladies, vice versa.
My wife and I discussed and prayed over me stepping away from my previous employer for weeks. It wasn't easy to talk about for me because I know that a short or long employment gap would mean a that biblical fact and worldly ideology would meet at center field. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 states "that if any would not work, neither should he eat." Modern day thinking has taken this scripture, out of context to a degree and I'd like to present the complete picture so that we're either on one accord or you understand a different point of view on the matter.
At that time, the Thessalonians were being persecuted by their own countrymen for some time. Paul wrote to them twice, the second time to reinforce the necessity of the Thessalonians to live in ways that are pleasing to God. Some had stopped working because they believed that Christ was returning soon. Paul reiterated the signs of the coming of Christ and commanded the Thessalonians to stay away from any Christian who lives in idleness and that does not follow the new traditions of hard work. In verse 11, he states the very things that those that are not working SHOULD NOT be doing. Living idle lives, refusing to work and wasting time being all up in other peoples business. As a husband and wife, the two have become one. What I own, she owns. What I owe, she owes and what I earn, she earns, vice versa. Whether you agree with this is open to another discussion however the bible is the final word, Ephesians 5:31 to be exact.
The two shall become one. I along with the men that I've dialogued have all had different circumstances under which unemployment came about. Layoffs, downsizing, terminated and resignation. In all instances, the writing was on the wall and we were wise enough to have our households managed so that we can still be OK on one income. However, it's not easy seeing your wife off to work everyday, being her listening ear, her support, her rock, her chef and maid (if you're smart) and come face to face with denial letters, interview after interview and bouts of depression, uncertainty and fear.
We're husbands that are not living idle lives, we're certainly not refusing to work and don't have the time to be in any one else's business.
So can we eat or is it a problem for us to get a meal being unemployed husbands??
As always, I value your thoughts and feedback...
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Faith, Focus, and Determination and Belief are the only tools that will fix a slippery slope such as this, and will produce income. I think in a Recession laced society, the best focus is to think "out of the box." A new approach to old ideas make change. It is in this line of focus that will be to vehicle to drive in prosperity during these trying times. I find that improper focus, lack of faith, and determination can be your worst enemies.
ReplyDeleteCase in point:
OBAMA's Inauguration was a sure thing after November 4th, 2008. One guy, self employed, had a vision, a focus. He focused on obtaining a copy right for bobble head OBAMA dolls. He secured a Washington D.C. vendor license. And today, he made $200,000 in one day, selling those cheap metal, bobble head dolls. A $1.50 -$2.00 trinket that many supporters in Washington D.C. would and could be willing to part with in order to have a part of history. This man is just one story, one focus, one determination, one belief, that his efforts would win the day. Now hopefully, this man will use his money wisely, but prior to this, he had no income, a man who was not able to support his wife. It is easy for one to judge another, to evaluate another one's shoes, even a spouse. And the road to utilizing these tools are sometimes marred by doubt, indecision, fear, and depression. But the real fight is keeping these negatives out of your head, out of your thinking, and standing strong. It is casting our net upon the waters and knowing that soon it will produce a fish. It is gently reminding the spouse that support is patience and belief that GOD will guide the way for you both. It is knowing that storms do not last always, and as it rains, the sun does shine again. And it is simply pitching in with a fresh look, cooking, and sometime a surprise foot rub to iron out her frustrations as well.
You are on the right path, and just as the water dripping on a rock will make its wear on that rock after time, the constant and consistent tools of faith, focus, determination and belief, will melt the rock away.